I am just going to pretend now that in response to my previous post I would receive this letter, written by a person I admire. I truly recommend this to anyone, writing yourself a letter of encouragement in the name of your heroes. Here we go.
Dear Angela,
The desire for creation you carry within is a gift. And you should never consider it as anything else than a gift. It is given to you by God, the greatest creator of all times. It is only natural that we feel the desire to create, since we ourselves are created in the image of the greatest creator Himself. It is given to you purely for your own enjoyment. It is not a burden, it is not a task, it does not come with any obligation other than the freedom to enjoy and treasure it whenever you can.
The first thing an artist does, is acknowledge this desire, know that it is there and feed it. This is something you, according to your writing, already do. So this is good. Keep in mind to always treasure and nurture it whenever you can. Keep on doing the things that awake this desire in you, watch good movies, read good books, take walks in nature, spend time alone, learn new things, listen to good music, eat good food. Do not waste your time with things or people who drain your energy instead of adding to it. This is the foundation for every artist. Your desire is your motivation to create.
You probably already know, it is a lot like being in love. There are butterflies in your stomach, you have energy, there's an almost painful longing inside of you. At times you feel like you can take on the entire world and at other times you despair at the idea that the person you love will reject you. Love and creation are very similar. Your heart recognizes them as the same. Isn't it true that when you are in love you are at your most creative? This is why artists speak about a muse. Our muse evokes in us the desire to create.
You speak of your visions. There is no creation without a vision, every great artist could tell you that. So it is excellent that you have visions of what your work of art is supposed to express. But keep in mind, visions are very abstract. A vision is a whole, it is a complete work, it is a feeling. If you start to work, try to separate it from the words and notes. A word or note, or a combination of them is not a vision. You cannot force your vision into existence. You must try and let it guide you on your way. You want it your first words to be as perfect as your vision. But your vision is not a practical thing. The strange thing is, you can only reach it by letting it go. Sometimes, in the midst of your work, without expecting it, something great happens and it is exactly like it was in your vision only the location or the words or the music is different. By letting go I do not mean give them up. No, please don't give them up. Try to reach them only don't try to force them. I know, this is difficult, very difficult.
You have to take risks. If you think that we were not afraid or not thinking that we were incompetent like you, you are gravely mistaken. All that is left from us is the good work, but we have written pages filled with rubbish, experienced great frustration and despair. I know you say that we were younger than you, but are you really going to let something like that stand in your way? What about the things you have already done? The pages you have already written? You act as if you have done nothing about your desire to create up until now, but this is not true. You have done a lot already. Your wish is to make it more substantial, to spend more time on it. This can be arranged. In order to overcome incompetence, insecurity, shyness you simply need to practice. Everything gets better with practice. Never stop, just try. I know there is frustration and pain ahead, but isn't the pain and frustration of not even trying much worse? Try not to forget there is not only frustration and pain, but also relieve and joy and inspiration and love once you keep going.
You say your biggest fear is to die not having become the artist you wish to be. But this is not true. Your biggest fear when you grew up was dying without having loved. Keep in mind that however things may turn out, you have loved and been loved most profoundly. This is the most important thing in your life, yes, more important even than you being an artist.
I know that in the creative area you have met people who would take others down to get to where they want to be. People who tried to force you into their idea of an artist. People with authority who told you you could never fit the profile for an artist. You have not yet met many good examples of what you believe an artist should be.
But I tell you, you never have to be anything other than yourself. We were ourselves. If anyone tried to tell us different, we stuck to our believes. And so do you. You just have to shout them out some louder. Louder. Do not be ashamed of your believes and feelings and stand up for them. Even if nobody agrees with you.
So, now that you have read this, go out and create. Stick to what you know. Finish what you start. Start with a few words from your desire to create, let your visions guide you and don't stop until you have something substantial. Throw it away if it is not good and start over. Start over all the time. I believe in you. You have it in you to become a great artist. Don't let anybody ever tell you different.
Yours truly,
your heroe
